Storytelling with The Moth
How a workshop and a cherished memory led to a win at the StorySLAM
It started at a nightclub in the East Village—but it’s not the kind of story you might expect. My friend Aransas Savas had gathered over 100 women at a clubby venue deep under Clinton Street for the Uplifters Live! event. The invitation promised creative growth and collaboration. As I scanned the agenda, one segment stood out as a beacon of intrigue: Storytelling with Kate Tellers from The Moth. Even if nothing else resonated that day, I knew that session alone would make the event worthwhile.
I love The Moth. I’ve been listening to their Radio Hour and podcast for years, and I own all of their books. Their mission, to promote the art and craft of storytelling and to honor and celebrate the diversity and commonality of human experience, really speaks to me. Last year, when I was leading product development at Uncommon Goods, my team and I partnered with The Moth to develop a storytelling subscription, The Moth by Mail. One story a month arrives at your doorstep printed on a moth-shaped paper by a specialty printer in Brooklyn, Coeur Noir. Each moth tells a powerful story and the print is suitable for framing or pinning to your bulletin board.
Just before the pandemic, in February 2020, I had tried my hand at telling a story at one of The Moth’s StorySLAM events where anyone can put their name in a hat (a canvas tote, in this case) for a chance to take the mic for five minutes and share their tale. Afterward, a panel of judges rate each speaker, crowning one of the ten storytellers the StorySLAM Champion.
While I was proud of myself for getting onstage in front of hundreds of strangers, looking back, I realize I tried to fit too much into that five minute window. Nerves got the better of me, causing me to stray from my planned narrative, and I changed my ending at the last minute. I ranked somewhere in the middle of the storytellers that night, vowing to do better next time.
I was sipping coffee when Kate arrived at Uplifters Live!, her iconic glasses and quirky style unmistakeable. A few hours later, she stood on stage, a PowerPoint presentation behind her—quite ironic, considering The Moth's storytellers perform without notes. Kate began by sharing clips, identifying three critical elements in each story:
1 - The arc: Beginning, middle, and end.
2 - The stakes: The driving force propelling the narrative forward.
3 - The details: Specific moments that transport listeners into the scene.
“A good story changes you in some way,” she said, “it doesn't have to be a big change but the stakes have to be high.”
Kate pulled up a video from a story of a man named David who landed his dream job as a speechwriter at the White House. One day, he got his big break—an opportunity to write a 30-second birthday wish for Betty White’s 90th birthday which would air on NBC. He wrote the script with a clever ending—President Obama would put on headphones and listen to the theme song from Golden Girls.
David was a bundle of nerves. He kept putting his hands in his pockets, making sure the headphones were still there. He told us what happened when it was time to hand them to Obama.
“I reach into my pocket, and I pull out what looks like a hairball made out of wires.
I don’t really know what happened. I guess somewhere in that waiting room I have just worried this thing into a hopeless tangle. And now I don’t know what to do, so I just hand the entire thing to the President of the United States.
Now, if you work in the White House, you will hear the phrase, there is no commodity on earth more valuable than a President’s time. Which I always thought was a cliche, until I watched Barack Obama untangle headphones for 30 seconds while looking directly at me.”
The stakes were high in this story—the President himself.
Kate then shared a different story about a woman who dropped her keys down an elevator shaft showing how stakes can vary yet still captivate.
“Now, it’s your turn,” she said. “If your life was a movie, what’s the one scene that must be included?”
She instructed us to craft a three-minute version of that pivotal scene and share it with the person beside us. As Kate posed her prompt, memories flooded back to our time at the hospital in Kentucky when Michael and I met our daughter Avellina for the first time, knowing tragically that her life would be too short.
I turned to the woman sitting next to me, and shared my story. By the end of it, we were both misty-eyed.
The stakes were extraordinarily high—meeting our newborn daughter while grappling with the harsh reality that we wouldn't have long with her. Minutes, hours, or days if we were lucky. The full story began with hope, turned to tragedy, yet somehow ended on a magical note. It honored Avellina's life, and I longed to share it more widely to give hope to others who had lost infants, helping them feel less alone in their grief.
I searched The Moth events page for upcoming StorySLAM events and discovered that I was in luck! There was a Slam on May 29th at the Bell House in Brooklyn with the theme of fresh. I thought about how I could connect the “one scene” from my life into a five-minute story and knew it would work within the concept of a fresh start; a new chance at life and family after losing our son Christopher through the gift of a gestational carrier.
Upon arriving, I was thrilled to see Kate hosting that evening's Slam. After filling out a release form and dropping it into the tote bag, I told Kate, "I channeled every bit of your Uplifters advice into this story, so please, call my name!"
The first teller spun a funny tale of new love. The second recounted a Lasik surgery gone awry. The third shared an amusing crush on her local muffin man. Then, the moment I was hoping for: "Our fourth storyteller will be...Lia Buffa De Feo."
There were hundreds of people in the audience, but on stage, with the lights in your eyes, you can only see a few people in the front row. It’s a strange feeling because you know you’re in front of a huge crowd, but it feels almost like you’re in a dark room with a few strangers watching you.
I began:
My daughter and I were checking out at the grocery store and she got excited, ”Look Mom, money!”
She pointed to a penny wedged under a rack of trashy tabloids. I picked it up, and she asked, “What year is it?”
“2017. Avellina’s year.” .
And five minutes (or so) later, I ended with:
“I believe it was a sign from our daughter who was too weak and too young to utter a word. Avellina was gone but she would always be with us.”
As I walked offstage, my cousin, Dana, captured Kate’s reaction. She said:
“One of the reasons I love storytelling so much is that it gives us a moment to mark and underscore those moments in our lives that we never want to forget and to bring people into our lives whom we never want to forget and to introduce them to hundreds of people at once.
Thank you Lia for doing that for us and for sharing that story.
I also think it’s hilarious that the priest could not read the room. In our darkest stories there is always levity so I thank you for being able to weave that in too, that was really brilliant."
Thank YOU, Kate.
The scores came in from the panel of judges, and so far, with an average rating of 9.0, my story had taken the lead, though the competition remained stiff. One powerful, well-prepared storyteller after another took the stage. Yet I held on to that lead, and by the night’s end, my scores reigned supreme—a victor’s certificate to prove it!
I'll share the recording of my "Fresh Start" story once it's available on The Moth website or podcast. If you have a story inside you longing to be told, Kate's storytelling tips are available in far greater detail in the book How to Tell a Story. And if you'd like to try your own hand at a StorySLAM, or simply experience the magic of a night devoted to storytelling, check The Moth's event page to see if they'll be visiting a neighborhood near you.
As a StorySLAM winner, I've been invited to share a new tale at an upcoming GrandSLAM event in New York City. I'll be sure to let you know the details once confirmed. If you're in the area, I'd love for you to join the audience!
Words of the Week:
All I know is something like a bird within her sang.
All I know she sang a little while and then flew off.
—Grateful Dead lyrics from “Bird Song”
Photo of the Week:
The view from the back of a taxi on the way home from the StorySLAM in Brooklyn. The sky appears to be full of stars, but really, it was just light reflecting on raindrops on the windshield.
This is amazing and brave! Thank you for sharing Lia and I'm so honored I got to meet you in person at The Uplifters Event.
Every Sunday, I look forward with great anticipation to your next newsletter. And today, you didn’t disappoint…again. Thank you for your beautiful words. They truly are a gift.