The Flashlight Hour
On sleepytime hugs, staying up till 2 a.m., and why a book beats one more scroll
This week, Carolina turns eight. The same age as her older sister, Marianna, when I met her. It feels like a parenting milestone—the mysteries of zero to eight are behind me, and as Carolina grows from eight years old, I have first-hand experience to guide me. I remember the early days with Marianna and how, sometimes, when she had trouble sleeping, I’d tell her a story but leave it unfinished, suggesting she pick it up in her mind, dream about the ending, and tell me how it went in the morning. That often worked to calm her mind and help her fall asleep. But those nights by the side of her bed didn’t last long.
So, a few weeks ago, when Michael was away, and Carolina asked to sleep in our bed, I said yes. I know the days of her wanting to sleep by my side are numbered. She opened Dork Diaries, and I picked The Tell back up after starting it and setting it aside. After a while, Carolina was sleepy. She put her book down and asked for some sleepytime hugs. Once she was asleep, I shifted away from her, turned my back, and let the comforter dull the shine from my flashlight. I intended to finish the chapter I was reading, but I was so engrossed in the story that I kept reading and reading and reading.
Before I knew it, I was turning the final page. I hadn’t looked at the time once, and somehow it was nearly 2 am. My mind had forgotten the worries I’d held earlier that evening, and I fell asleep within seconds of putting the book down. Inspired by that night, I moved my to-read pile from my desk to my nightstand and made a pact with myself to read each night in bed before going to sleep.
I never have to ask or remind Carolina to read before bedtime when she’s on her own. I have to check on her to make sure she turns off her flashlight and actually goes to sleep. She’s very into graphic novels right now. I don’t recall having them when I was a kid. I loved reading the Sunday comics, the Choose Your Own Adventure series, and, of course, Judy Bloom. But graphic novels just weren’t something I was into. Most of the ones available during my childhood were superhero-themed, and that just wasn’t my thing.
I love that my daughter enjoys reading. Not just because it makes her smarter and better at conversations, or because it can quiet her loud mind, but because it builds empathy and understanding for others.
There’s a reason why reading is so effective at quieting our minds. It brings us out of our own world and into someone else’s life. We see beyond the characters’ flaws and strengthen the parts of our brain that build empathy. We feel all of their big emotions, and we can become so deeply immersed in their world that we lose track of our own.
When I’m reading, this is the feeling I’m seeking, and there’s a technical term for it: narrative transportation, and it turns out it’s actually healthy for you too.1
So tonight, when you’re tempted to scroll through your phone one last time, consider reaching for a book instead. Let yourself disappear into someone else’s world for a while. Your mind, heart, and all the writers out there will thank you for it.
Words of the Week
“I can tell you why I inhale books like oxygen: I’m grateful for my one life, but I’d prefer to live a thousand …” —Anne Bogel
Photo of the Week
Berries at a farmstand on the North Fork of Long Island. One of the great pleasures of summer is fresh local fruit. I loved the color and texture of these berries at Briermere Farms. The farm is famous for its pies, and they’re absolutely delicious (albeit expensive). If you don’t know the local secret… ask if they have any day-old pies. They usually do, and although the selections are limited, they’re 50% off and just as delicious as the full-priced version.
Join me for a webinar: ‘Dead Horse Bay: An Accidental Treasure Trove of New York’s Past’
On Thursday, July 23, from 8pm to 9:15pm, I’ll be hosting a webinar with the New York Adventure Club sharing the history of Brooklyn’s Marine Park and Dead Horse Bay.
The presentation will include:
A brief history of New York City’s trash, from offshore dumping and swill-fed pigs to political corruption, sanitation reform, and the famed White Wings
The remarkable history of Marine Park and Barren Island, from a tide-powered mill and horse-rendering plants to garbage incinerators, a thriving working-class community, and New York City’s first municipal airport
The rise and fall of Barren Island, where factory workers and their families lived alongside some of the city’s dirtiest industries
The role of Robert Moses and urban renewal, and how demolished neighborhoods contributed to the landfill that helped create Marine Park as we know it today
A photographic exploration of artifacts found at the site, including household goods, toys, shoes, beauty products, horse bones, and other fragments of everyday life
The stories these objects tell us, and why archaeologists, historians, photographers, artists, and treasure hunters continue to be fascinated by this unusual place
Reserve your ticket on the New York Adventure Club’s website!
Ahh . . . Lia, your post reminds me to do something that I promised to myself. I have slipped into the bad habit of scrolling before bed, and I want to revert back to reading before going to sleep. I want to feel that delicious feeling of falling asleep with a book on my chest and having my husband close the book and turn off the light.
The last book where I stayed up to 2am reading (is there something magical about 2am?) is Pachinko by Min Jin Lee. It is such a beautiful and heartbreaking tale of strong women living in Japanese-occupied Korea. Pachinko did exactly this! "It brings us out of our own world and into someone else’s life. We see beyond the characters’ flaws and strengthen the parts of our brain that build empathy."
Nothing like a good book! Such a beautiful gift to give your daughter.